Press pause – reflecting on talking about mixtapes

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the experience of working on this website about mixtapes over the years– how the histories of these personal relics, combined with people’s personal histories, can make it difficult to reunite mixtape makers with mixtape receivers.

Mixtapes were often made in the first bursts of excitement for another person, when all you wanted to do was think about the other person, share music, and listen to music that they like so that you may know them better. The stereotypical mixtape story is of young love of course. That feeling fades. But the tapes live on, glowing with frozen moments of potential.

And people often exit. You might pick up a mixtape and be taken back to who you were, who the other person was, what was shared, for good and bad. And it might not always be pleasant. Not blog-worthy certainly.

An interesting part of this website project has been the number of people, especially women, who no longer have their old mixtapes. Some people have told me that partners felt uncomfortable about the old mixtapes being around. Other people didn’t think keeping the tapes were worth the physical space they occupied in their homes.

It has been challenging, too, to get two people from an old mixtape- giver and receiver- together. A lot of time has passed since most mixtapes were made. Friendships have ended. Most people are not in contact with their earliest romantic partners. People have lost touch with one another. Life has accumulated on bodies and minds.

Mixtape made with The Cure stationary? Tracklist included Nine Inch Nails, The Cure, and The Exploited

1989 boyfriend mixtape – made with The Cure stationery?

I never wanted this website to be about my romantic partners, but here is a novel exception. This is the first mixtape I received from a boyfriend. I was in grade 8, and it was 1989. The boy was one of my sister’s friends.

“Nothing warms young girls’ hearts like The Exploited singing Barmy Army,” I joked to myself when I dug out the tape. When I was 13, though, this tape was quite a gift! A cool older punk noticing my Cure t-shirt collection and spending time with me at the youth center? Yes please! (Could I have imagined even remotely that The Cure would be putting out new music 35 years later as I look at this again?)

This tape maker wrote “Really!” on the tape because it was something I said a lot in grade 8, some cringe-worthy affectation that I no doubt aped from a movie I liked. And I love this honesty: “I heart you! Well, at least I think I do!” Adults could use this level of candor.

Side 1 tracklist for The Cure mixtape

I heart you! Well, at least I think I do!

side 2 tracklist of mixtape - a lot of Uniform Choice, some Misfits, Bauhaus, Love and Rockets

Side 2 – So you think you’ve got a choice?

On June 25, 2023, I saw The Cure live for the first time with my husband, sister, and brother-in-law at Merriweather Post Pavilion in Columbia, MD. Through the grapevine, I learned that the person who made this tape for me was also there, watching from a blanket on the lawn. It would have been nice to say hello, but it’s okay that I missed him. Maybe I’ll high-five him next time around. Wherever people and memories live in your psyche is right where they should be, for now. Their positions will shift. You will change. There will be people who roll along with you in life and people who do not. And that’s all okay, too.

A rather poor photo of the The Cure live at

The Cure in Merriweather 2023

The lawn at Merriweather Post Pavilion after the Cure played

The lawn at Merriweather Post Pavilion after The Cure played – hopefully was not as grim when the old flame was sitting there

I recently read that memories change while we sleep. Involuntary transformations! Though mixtapes may have suspended happy times or important times, as if in amber, even the mixtapes may recede from our memories or our perceptions of them will change. Always change.

Do not fret. Someone once told me that old records never die. Cheers to all the romantics, musicians, fans, and young lovers.


picture of Sarah at Mojomala

Sarah, with thanks to Michael Abate of Mojomala Books, Records, & Cool Stuff for the photo

Enough about the author? Yes, I believe so.

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